emergency_chunk
?

Log in

emergency_chunk [entries|friends|calendar]
emergency_chunk

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Why they are the smartest next to most humans. [11 Sep 2006|09:32pm]

metalheadsam
Dolphins are used by the US government to find mines in the ocean. They also rape sea turtles.

Whales can communicate with each other from one side of the world to the other.

Bonobos monkeys frequently have orgies and some never have sex with the opposite sex.

Parrots can mimic speech at the level of a 3 year old child.

Orangutans can unlock complex puzzle boxes that require unlatching, unlocking, and using a screw driver.

Gorillas can effectively communicate with humans using sign language and computers. They can also request for a woman to show them some titties.

Chickens have the ability to taste like everything that does not have a taste of their own.

-Lucias(spikedhumor.com forum)
**quote me on it**

eat a beaver [28 Jul 2006|12:07am]

cynical_baby
[ mood | amused ]

while looking at a "Save a Tree - Eat a Beaver" bumper sticker:

"That doesnt even make any sense." ~my gma, irritated

**quote me on it**

I thought this was funny. [20 Jun 2006|02:12pm]

metalheadsam
"That's why soccer will not be popular in the US.. for instance in spain, everytime a black player touches the ball they start making monkey chants. They do the same in france, italy and netherlands. It does not happen all the time but happens like every other game... lol" -prfreak
**quote me on it**

Haven't Been On MaddoxMania In A Long Time, Here's What I Found. [16 Nov 2005|04:44am]

metalheadsam
"I don't know if homosexuality is learned. I think it's just an accident. You're hanging around the locker room, slapping each other's titties and then you trip and your mouth falls on another man's mouth, then as you try to disengage, your erect penis falls inside another man's swollen rectum. Then you get the aids and you might as well keep doing it.

That's just one possibility though.

I don't know if homosexuality is a gene or is learned, but I can say that it's certainly not a choice.

When you get that wet ruby starfish bobbing in front of your face, slick with oils and smelling of pot-pouri, you just can't but help sticking it in. ANd once in it feels so good you forget what it's like to be a hetero, until you wake up the next day with an itchy sore and a hung over and confused young man.

It's situational I think." -BumbaTheVomiter (MaddoxMania Forum User)
**quote me on it**

on veganism [05 Oct 2005|10:57am]

cynical_baby
"I have been told from many people that most people dont consider fish meat, its considered poultry."

~girl on silverchair forums
**1 response quote me on it**

[05 Sep 2005|06:53pm]

metalheadsam
"So...I was reading this article in some medical magazine that said Hardcore Dancing increases one's chance of contracting ass cancer in which the only cure is a sound spin kick to the balls." -Unknown
**quote me on it**

[03 Jun 2005|06:14pm]

cynical_baby
sam: "did you know that these pants were made in mexico?"
me: "were they?"
sam: "yeah. did you know that I was made in a mexican?"
me: "well, I guess you have something in common then..."
**quote me on it**

Ugliest Pet Ever. [20 Mar 2005|12:54am]

metalheadsam
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

"Satan forged these vile abominations on his anvil of despair. Woe to any man who stares into these eyes, for he has stared at the very face of death." -Warpig

"Ever met a nice cat? No. They just randomly leap about and scratch things and people. Then they top it all off by shitting in a sandbox and vomiting on peoples shoes. The Egyptians first made cats domestic. Where are the Egyptians now, hmm? Dead. Every single one of them." -Warpig

"Its a scientific fact that people who love cats show a hidden potential to become: rapists/murderers/homosexuals/exotic dancers/lawyers." -Warpig
**quote me on it**

[17 Mar 2005|04:30pm]

cynical_baby
[ mood | calm ]

"What is O.J. Simpsons last name? Is it Case?"
~ Ambies little brother Steven, a loooong time ago (Ambie reminded me of this)

Girl in class: Do babies dream?
Beckman (psychobio teacher): Yes, of course they dream. Now if you're asking if they dream about the same things we do the answer is no.
Girl in class: Well what do they dream about?
Beckman: nipples and stuff like that...

"I think guys probably dream about nipples, too."
~Sarah, in response

**quote me on it**

I Like This. [22 Feb 2005|11:08pm]

metalheadsam
What's really funny is that blacks do more than their fair share of murdering compared to common citizens of other races. How moral and Christian is that? They must be old school. Old Testament school. -ILL34GL3 (MaddoxMania Forums)
**quote me on it**

[18 Feb 2005|07:19pm]

cynical_baby
*watching t.v.*
great grandma: what are they fishin' for?
grandma: *calmly* a body....

*guy runs across middle of the busy street in front of us, with a huge grin on his face*
grandma: that guy looks like he wanted to kill himself
my mom: naw, he looked way to happy to be trying to kill himself
grandma: .. maybe he was happy to do it.
**quote me on it**

anal blast [06 Feb 2005|09:07pm]

cynical_baby
[ mood | tired ]

me: *laughing at Sam's band names* anal blast?
Sam: Whenever I play games online, and use the alias 'Anal Blast,' I get kicked even though there is also a guy on there with the alias ass cabbage, thats unfair.

me: *looking at title of Brujeria song, Matando Gueros* What does that mean?
Sam: you dont know what that means?
me: no
sam: it means 'killing white people'
me: *looks at sam incredulously* no, seriously.
sam: thats what it means
sam: everyone has heard of that song!

**quote me on it**

Funniest Child In New Zealand. [01 Feb 2005|12:33am]

metalheadsam
"this one time i beat my kid and then remembered that i had no kid" -Albino Sheep

"I once did "The effects/consequences of not doing a science fair project" and it was just a large blank piece of carboard with that title." -Albino Sheep


BEEF JERKEY
HOT SAUCE
DEAD OLD PEOPLE
BAD ASSNESS
PIRATE NESS!!!!!!!!!!!

GO CAPTAIN MADDOX!

"By your powers combined... I AM CAPTAIN MADDOX!"

Captain Maddox, he's a hero.
Gonna, take those hippies down to zero!

He's our badass pirate guy
He likes to kick old ladies into the sky!

Gonna help him put asunder
Damn vegetarions who over tofu like to slobber

"You'll pay for this Captain Maddox!"

We're the Maddox-teers! You can be one too! Cause being a pirate is the thing to do!

Women's rights and children, are not the way!
Let's hear what Captain Maddox, has to say!

"Aaargh! Fuck you!"

-Popcorn Fairy
**quote me on it**

[20 Jan 2005|09:16pm]

cynical_baby
[ mood | sad ]

ambie: what do i like?
SmarterChild: You really like Therion, prairie dogs, satan...
me: i like how it casually adds "satan.."

me: what do i like?
SmarterChild: Licking people, bums, sam... You know, those kinds of things.

**quote me on it**

So Very True... [16 Jan 2005|12:33am]

metalheadsam
"Thousand Island is the best thing to happen to burgers since cows." -Old Man (MaddoxMania Forum Member)


How are you celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. day?

"I am going to celebrate his birthday by taking one of his kind off my tree in the backyard. I got three of them hanging there." -jAk (MaddoxMania Forum Member)
**quote me on it**

hehhhhhhhh [24 Dec 2004|04:49pm]

cynical_baby
"What the fuck is an IPOD?" ~Paul, confused at the commercial

"What state is Minnesota in?" ~Sam

"I bought a new suitcase and used it ONCE while I was in Missouri before the cats ripped it up"
"I would be pissed if I bought anything and it got fucked up after one use.. Unless it was a condom."
~Kenny and my mom's conversation about her suitcase

"You can tell that map is old, because Chile isnt even on it"
"Chile isnt in Mexico, its in South America." Kenny and Me, staring at a map of Mexico painted in a restaurant
**quote me on it**

Funny Stuff... [21 Dec 2004|09:36pm]

metalheadsam
"this one time i was wearing a blue sweatshirt and some crips come up and say "yo nigger get yo black ass outta that shirt". so i took it off and my stomach was all red so they where all like "yo nigger take off that red skin" so I took it off and lost 3 gallons of blood." -OldSchoolNigger
**quote me on it**

random.. [18 Dec 2004|11:29pm]

cynical_baby
me: i wish i knew an ashley so i could call her assley
sam: i wish i knew a richard so i could call him DICK
**quote me on it**

A Reply To A Good Rant On The MaddoxMania Forums... [18 Dec 2004|10:34pm]

metalheadsam
"Totally agree with all of that. I can't stand small talk but I'm often stuck with it. I also hate it when you go out and you see someone you know but you don't want to talk to them. Then they come up and you have to and pretend you are interested. Those fucking bastards." -Failsafe
**quote me on it**

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory teaser trailer... [11 Dec 2004|07:36pm]

metalheadsam
Sweet. This will certainly scare the shit out of my kids. They'll never eat a candy bar again. Burton just saved me tons in dental care. -Big Bad Clone
**quote me on it**

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]